80 Years

This was written in late September and not published until recently.

My Grandma (Dad's mom) turned 80 last week, and Starr & I got to go up to Indiana this past weekend to celebrate with my family. It was great to get to see most of the family, even though some couldn't/didn't make it out. We had everyone come to my dad & step-mom's house because they seem to have the most room in a convenient location. We set up some corn hole games and grilled out. Starr made an awesome cake too.

I was kind of excited to see my family, especially my Grandma. But, she almost didn't make it out. She had started feeling bad a few days before the party and was thinking about not even showing up. She did decide to come later, but something was different about her. She wanted to read something about her life and how she had come to know God. It was interesting, but it was also troubling to me.

Her attitude about the whole event didn't seem particularly cheery as I thought it would. She didn't act like this was a celebration of her long life. She acted more like it was her way of saying bye to the family. It was just a couple short months ago that we were all on a camping and kayaking trip in Missouri. She didn't kayak, but she did camp. And, I'm talking about camping in a tent, not many people's version of camping that includes a cabin. At that time I was talking about how spunky Grandma is and about how she'll outlive the rest of us. Now, I'm not so sure. I'm not sure because she seems to be tired of living, not because she seems old and decrepit.

It's a weird thing to basically see a shift in someone's outlook on life in such a short amount of time. I'm glad that my relationship with Grandma is between today than it was a few years ago. I went through a time period where I didn't want to forgive her for something she did, but I got over myself and am glad she's still around for me to build a sort of relationship with.