Broken

This is a difficult post for me to make, but I want to ensure that everyone who cares about what's going on in my life has the opportunity to know. For those who don't already know, Starr and I have separated and are starting the process of a divorce. This has come as a shock to most people that we have told so far.

I'm not going to get into all the details, and if you want Starr's perspective, you can read her blog post about it. What I will say is that we have had major problems prior to this; we just never fought or showed others what was going on in our private lives (hence the private part). We had a long discussion approximately 16 months ago and tried to work on things, but nothing has really changed.

You need to understand that this is my decision, not Starr's. She doesn't want this. Also she isn't to blame for this happening. I don't know if you might judge me or us, and I honestly don't care. I have thought about and come to terms with all of the possible negative repercussions of my actions. This is not a decision that I have made lightly. I have never been a fan of divorce. However, I believe that this is for the best. It may not seem like it to others, but it is my decision.

I have gotten an apartment close to where I work and am trying to figure out what will happen next. This has been a stressful time for both of us. I know that I haven't been talking to many people about what's going on. I really just wanted to explain as few times as possible. I hope to retain the friendships that I have had the opportunity to develop. I will move forward with my life and the person that I am, always believing that I've made the best decision for everyone. My hope is that I will be approached with an attitude of love and understanding. However, I do not need anyone's approval to live a happy life. For the first time in about 15 years, this really is the truth. Thank you to everyone who loves me no matter what decisions I make for my life.

Turning A Corner

So, I turned 30 on Saturday. I don't really feel any differently than I before. However, it's still strange for me to think of myself as being THAT old. There are many things that I thought I would have accomplished by this point in my life. So, I guess I'll have to reset some goals for the next five and ten years. At the top of that list will be three things: run a half marathon, do a triathlon, and finish the Android app to put onto the Google Play store.

I've already signed up for the Middle Half marathon in Murfreesboro in October. I started actually training about two weeks ago because I know that it's going to come upon me quickly. I'm taking the increase in actual miles run slowly so that I don't cause injury, but I keep wanting to run farther faster. So, my solution has been to cross train (which I always stayed away from doing in high school), which is where the triathlon comes into play.

For my first triathlon, I'm going to do what's called a Sprint Triathlon. Basically, all the events (swim, bike, run) are much shorter distance than "competitive" triathlons. My goal is to do an Ironman race (and complete it) in two to three years. I haven't come up with a time-frame yet because I'm just now getting back into shape.

The Ironman is a grueling race that I never really thought I could do until now. I'm not really sure what changed my mindset, but it just doesn't seem impossible to me anymore. The first event is a 2.4 mile swim, followed immediately by a 112 mile bike ride, followed by a marathon (26.2 mile) run. Besides not being in the kind of shape right now to be able to complete that type of race without some type of injury, I'll also need a good bike by then. So, maybe within the next 2-3 years I'll have a couple thousand extra dollars to spend on a good triathlon bike.

Another thing to accomplish within the next few years is to start gaining rental and resale properties. Now that Starr and I have pretty good jobs, we'll be able to pay off our debt pretty quickly. I've always wanted to own property to rent out; so, that's another good goal for my next decade of life.

Probably the biggest goal of the next decade is to start having children. Although there is no news on that right now, we're looking forward to having a family to fill the house that we're buying. We're excited and nervous about this next step in our lives. And, we'll obviously be keeping all of our family and friends updated on any possible progress in that area.

I'm thankful for the things that I've gone through up to this point. I don't know what I could've accomplished in certain areas had I stayed focused on those. But, I have rolled with any punches that may have come my way, and I'm happy that I have ended up where I am at this point. Here's looking forward to the next five years (and many more decades), where I'm constantly improving my health, soul, love, and life.

Dr's Office

Maybe I'm a little spoiled after being in the military for a few years, but does an appointment at a civilian doctor office always take over an hour just for me to be taken to the second little waiting room where you're all alone? This is pretty ridiculous. I don't want my blog to become some sort of ranting area, but is this a normal thing? Please leave a comment after reading so I'll know whether or not it's just me.

Here are the facts: I'm a new patient here for a basic physical checkup to make sure I'm healthy. They told me to arrive at 11:30, which I did. I filled out their paperwork and have now been waiting for an hour after finishing the paperwork. There have been other patients who have come in and are also waiting. No one has come in after me and been seen yet. So, everyone here is just waiting. That is a relief to me because I would be a little upset if people were coming in after and being seen before myself.

Anyway, I'm here, just waiting and waiting and waiting. I guess I could do something a little more productive than just typing out a rant, but this gets my mind working. So, then I can move on to writing some more of my book.

Besides the book, I've been trying to figure out where my life is headed after I finish my undergraduate degree next semester. There are so many possibilities that I hate to say that I'm not going to be doing something. When I met Starr that I told her I would never go back to school. It's funny to think of now, because she really wanted me to finish my degree. Now that I am finishing up, I'm wondering what kind of job and/or further education I should get. I guess that's another thing that I can do productively until I get called back into the doctor's area.

Wasting time

So, I have two and a half hour lunch break today as a substitute. It's cool, but boring too. Over the past few weeks I've decided to slightly change the direction that I'm heading. It's not a huge difference though, and I'll actually get to my goal sooner this way.

On one of my jobs a couple weeks ago I met a lady who helps work with Metro Nashville school children for better ways to learn. I'm probably going to be working with her to create an Android app for students. We're going to use my ability to program combined with her knowledge of what students need in order to make something great. I think we'll be able to introduce it to Metro schools to see if they want to purchase it. That would be great for everybody. But, even if they don't for whatever reason, it'll be a good resource to put on the market and a way for me to do something worthwhile. With the new program I'm starting next semester, so I can finally get my bachelor's degree, this will be a great semester project. I'll probably try to enlist some of my programmer friends to test it out and give feedback. Thanks in advance for that.

I've also started writing again. Most of you probably have no idea that I've written before, but now you do. I have a couple ideas that I think will make a decent story. I'll need help from a couple of my friends who enjoy reading and are capable of constructive criticism. I know my wife, my sister, and Anthony Davis falls into this category. We'll see about any others.

We'll, I'm about to have another class come in a few minutes. Hope you enjoyed the read. I'll be sure to post more often in case any of you actually enjoy reading about my thoughts :)

80 Years

This was written in late September and not published until recently.

My Grandma (Dad's mom) turned 80 last week, and Starr & I got to go up to Indiana this past weekend to celebrate with my family. It was great to get to see most of the family, even though some couldn't/didn't make it out. We had everyone come to my dad & step-mom's house because they seem to have the most room in a convenient location. We set up some corn hole games and grilled out. Starr made an awesome cake too.

I was kind of excited to see my family, especially my Grandma. But, she almost didn't make it out. She had started feeling bad a few days before the party and was thinking about not even showing up. She did decide to come later, but something was different about her. She wanted to read something about her life and how she had come to know God. It was interesting, but it was also troubling to me.

Her attitude about the whole event didn't seem particularly cheery as I thought it would. She didn't act like this was a celebration of her long life. She acted more like it was her way of saying bye to the family. It was just a couple short months ago that we were all on a camping and kayaking trip in Missouri. She didn't kayak, but she did camp. And, I'm talking about camping in a tent, not many people's version of camping that includes a cabin. At that time I was talking about how spunky Grandma is and about how she'll outlive the rest of us. Now, I'm not so sure. I'm not sure because she seems to be tired of living, not because she seems old and decrepit.

It's a weird thing to basically see a shift in someone's outlook on life in such a short amount of time. I'm glad that my relationship with Grandma is between today than it was a few years ago. I went through a time period where I didn't want to forgive her for something she did, but I got over myself and am glad she's still around for me to build a sort of relationship with.

First Coupon Experience

So, Starr has been doing a bit of coupon shopping for the past few months. She's pretty good at it too. I'm impressed. At first, I didn't really care but thought it was cool that she was going to be saving us some money on groceries. Since we get most of our household goods from our Amway business, we try to get good deals on as many food items as we can. So, a couple days ago we decided to get a little more serious because Starr has seen some episodes of Extreme Couponers who get something like $230 worth of groceries for $10. We don't spend hours upon hours researching these things and go to ten different stores, but if we can save some money buying things we need anyway, why not spend a couple hours doing it? We bought a Sunday paper and I helped her cut out coupons that we could use. We organized them and found out what we need or will need in the next month or so. Then, we looked up what Publix will be having on sale.

I know what some of you are thinking, but Publix has really good stuff at good prices, and we don't have to feel like we're going to get a disease walking around the store. The workers there are cordial and will help find something in a nice way. Plus, Publix lets you stack a manufacturer coupon with their own to get more of a savings. They also double coupons that are 50 cents and under. So, the price ends up being less than shopping at many other lower quality stores.

Anyway, I went today to do our shopping; it was my first experience doing the coupon thing alone in the store. I felt quite weird walking around the store, checking my list of what we need, checking the coupon to make sure that I'm getting the right item, and trying to make sure that I'm not in everyone's way. Luckily, I went when it was relatively calm in the store and wasn't really in anybody's way. It was still weird, though. Starr tells me that she feels that way when she goes too; so, I don't feel too bad.

Now, I know that some of you might be thinking that I'm a weird guy to be doing the couponing thing. But, if you're friends with my wife on Facebook, then you'll know that she appreciates me helping her out while I'm waiting to start working again. I know a lot of guys that could learn from reading this. However, those guys probably wouldn't take the time to read something this long that isn't about sports.

Maybe you're wondering what I got and how much I spent. I ended up spending $43 and saving $34 by using my coupons. It's a pretty sweet thing to be cutting the grocery bill almost in half. I'm sure I'll get better with a little time. I'm also including a photo of the products that I got.

Today had some other fun in it too, but I'll save that for another day. Have a great day, and remember, "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." --Steve Prefontaine

Here's what I got:

Larriviere's Restaurant

When stopping in or passing through Gallatin, TN, be sure to take a little while to go to the city's square. Not only is it a quaint square with a feel of old, small town America, it's also home to Larriviere's Restaurant. Owner Rene Larriviere is originally from Louisiana and brings that Cajun taste to Tennessee in a big way.

I came to know Rene when I was still in high school at Hunters Lane in Nashville. During my junior year (13 years ago now) I started to work at Cici's Pizza in Madison, TN. Rene and his brother Andre were the owners of that restaurant at the time. It was the first CiCi's in middle Tennessee and, for the next few years, the best. The brothers were wonderful owner/managers who never betrayed our trust or acted in a hypocritical way. They always had the highest standards of our conduct and professionalism, even though most of us workers were quite young. They rewarded us and led us to be good workers for them.

I can see by the way that Rene's current employees talk about him and their experiences at the "new" restaurant that he has continued with that same great philosophy. All of the workers and manager had nothing but good things to say about him. The restaurant itself was very clean and tidy. The food on the lunch buffet looked hot and tasty. However, I decided to order off the menu. I had originally gone there just to talk to Rene, but he had left about 10 minutes before I arrived--that's what I get for not calling ahead and making plans. So, I decided just to give him my business for lunch.

There were two separate menus given to me when I asked to see them. One was the lunch specials, the other was the full menu. I decided to eat a lunch special. It didn't disappoint. I ordered the Shrimp Etouffee (also available in crawfish). I haven't had a good etouffee in quite a while--since about 2001 when the New Orleans' style restaurant Copeland's had a couple of places around Nashville. I was sure that this would be different, though. It was! The food was great. It had just the right amount of spice that I felt the heat, but it wasn't overwhelming. The taste was great, and the shrimp could be tasted, but not in that gross "I taste the ocean" kind of way. Anyway, next time you're in Gallatin, TN, you should go try it out. You can tell Rene, if he's there, that I sent you, but it won't change your price or my wallet in any way. I just thought you should all know that I'm not getting paid for this rave review ^_^.

Here's a link to his website for anyone interested: http://www.larrivieres.com/

Also, while I was in Gallatin, before going to my old friend's restaurant, I stopped by a little jewelry store called Thomas Jewelers. I met Thomas a few years ago while I was dating Kim. He's an awesome guy: very genuine, a true craftsman, and all around good guy. He makes these really cool rings that used to cost just a few hundred dollars. However, with the price of gold and palladium skyrocketing, the price has obviously risen as well. The ring looks like woodgrain and is a mixture of different metals. I don't know if he really wants me sending new business his way or not, but you should at least check out his site to look at his jewelry. He told me today that he has more business now than he ever really wanted to have.

Tom used to have a couple of big-time jewelry stores in New Jersey and shut them down many years ago for a couple of reasons; mainly, he was working more than he cared to be. Now, he's getting to the same situation, which really just goes to show how great of a craftsman and honest businessman he is. Before I got a chance to chat with him today, he was helping another lady. She was looking at a 14K white gold ring with baguette diamonds in it. He's selling it for $550 because that was the fair price when he got the ring. Many of his jeweler friends have told him he should raise the price since gold and diamonds cost more today than they did when he first got the ring. However, he's such an honest guy that he doesn't want to rip off his customers in order to make a few extra bucks! How's that for customer service and honesty? I can't think of many places that would do the same as Tom. So, anyway, check him out if you're in the market for any really nice, hand-crafted pieces, or just nice jewelry in general. If you're looking for something less expensive, just talk to me and I'll point you in the right direction. Again, like Larriviere's Restaurant, you can tell him that I sent you, but it won't change anything, except maybe the conversation.

Thomas Jewelers website: http://www.thomas-jewelers.com/

Well, I hope everyone is having a great day. I planned to upload pictures of Larriviere's Restaurant but the phone to computer upload isn't cooperating at the moment. I'll update this later to include some pictures.

Let me know what you think in the comments.