Broken

This is a difficult post for me to make, but I want to ensure that everyone who cares about what's going on in my life has the opportunity to know. For those who don't already know, Starr and I have separated and are starting the process of a divorce. This has come as a shock to most people that we have told so far.

I'm not going to get into all the details, and if you want Starr's perspective, you can read her blog post about it. What I will say is that we have had major problems prior to this; we just never fought or showed others what was going on in our private lives (hence the private part). We had a long discussion approximately 16 months ago and tried to work on things, but nothing has really changed.

You need to understand that this is my decision, not Starr's. She doesn't want this. Also she isn't to blame for this happening. I don't know if you might judge me or us, and I honestly don't care. I have thought about and come to terms with all of the possible negative repercussions of my actions. This is not a decision that I have made lightly. I have never been a fan of divorce. However, I believe that this is for the best. It may not seem like it to others, but it is my decision.

I have gotten an apartment close to where I work and am trying to figure out what will happen next. This has been a stressful time for both of us. I know that I haven't been talking to many people about what's going on. I really just wanted to explain as few times as possible. I hope to retain the friendships that I have had the opportunity to develop. I will move forward with my life and the person that I am, always believing that I've made the best decision for everyone. My hope is that I will be approached with an attitude of love and understanding. However, I do not need anyone's approval to live a happy life. For the first time in about 15 years, this really is the truth. Thank you to everyone who loves me no matter what decisions I make for my life.

Turning A Corner

So, I turned 30 on Saturday. I don't really feel any differently than I before. However, it's still strange for me to think of myself as being THAT old. There are many things that I thought I would have accomplished by this point in my life. So, I guess I'll have to reset some goals for the next five and ten years. At the top of that list will be three things: run a half marathon, do a triathlon, and finish the Android app to put onto the Google Play store.

I've already signed up for the Middle Half marathon in Murfreesboro in October. I started actually training about two weeks ago because I know that it's going to come upon me quickly. I'm taking the increase in actual miles run slowly so that I don't cause injury, but I keep wanting to run farther faster. So, my solution has been to cross train (which I always stayed away from doing in high school), which is where the triathlon comes into play.

For my first triathlon, I'm going to do what's called a Sprint Triathlon. Basically, all the events (swim, bike, run) are much shorter distance than "competitive" triathlons. My goal is to do an Ironman race (and complete it) in two to three years. I haven't come up with a time-frame yet because I'm just now getting back into shape.

The Ironman is a grueling race that I never really thought I could do until now. I'm not really sure what changed my mindset, but it just doesn't seem impossible to me anymore. The first event is a 2.4 mile swim, followed immediately by a 112 mile bike ride, followed by a marathon (26.2 mile) run. Besides not being in the kind of shape right now to be able to complete that type of race without some type of injury, I'll also need a good bike by then. So, maybe within the next 2-3 years I'll have a couple thousand extra dollars to spend on a good triathlon bike.

Another thing to accomplish within the next few years is to start gaining rental and resale properties. Now that Starr and I have pretty good jobs, we'll be able to pay off our debt pretty quickly. I've always wanted to own property to rent out; so, that's another good goal for my next decade of life.

Probably the biggest goal of the next decade is to start having children. Although there is no news on that right now, we're looking forward to having a family to fill the house that we're buying. We're excited and nervous about this next step in our lives. And, we'll obviously be keeping all of our family and friends updated on any possible progress in that area.

I'm thankful for the things that I've gone through up to this point. I don't know what I could've accomplished in certain areas had I stayed focused on those. But, I have rolled with any punches that may have come my way, and I'm happy that I have ended up where I am at this point. Here's looking forward to the next five years (and many more decades), where I'm constantly improving my health, soul, love, and life.